Several years ago, as I was working for the Diocese’s IT Department and adding schools to the Wide Area Network (WAN), I was installing devices at one of our schools. When I was brought to the school’s internet equipment to connect to the WAN, I found myself having to kneel on the floor with my head in the closet and my other side facing the hallway. I was in this position for several minutes as I installed the device into place. A seventh-grade class passed me in this position while they were returning from gym class. I heard one of the students declare, “I just saw a nun lying in the hallway!” Needless to say, I chuckled loudly. Their teacher, knowing full well what I was doing, sheepishly came over to me and said, “Sister, when you are done, could you please come into my classroom? My students are interested in meeting you!”
After I installed the equipment, I spent time talking to the students. They asked the typical questions for Sisters: How long is your hair? Do you sleep in your habit? What color is your bathing suit?” Then one girl asked me a question that no one has ever asked before or since: How did you know that you should be a nun?
For a moment, it left me stumped. I whispered a prayer and looked around the classroom. In an instant, the Holy Spirit provided me with an idea. It was February and the classroom was filled with hearts and math charts. Realizing it was a math classroom, I asked, “Please tell me what shape in geometry shows an entirety, or a ‘whole thing’?” There was a huge pause as they thought about it. One boy smiled and declared, “A circle!” I drew a large circle on the blackboard. “Since it’s February, let’s add a heart. If you draw a heart within a circle, you see three parts around the heart. Each of the areas represents the three parts of the Trinity.” As I said this, I wrote on the top “The Father” in the top part of the heart, “The Son” on the left and “The Holy Spirit” on the right.
“You see, boys and girls, whenever you choose to do what God wants
you to do, your heart becomes whole. You experience a peace and a joy that nothing can take away from you. This is how I knew I should be a Sister.” Many of the students slowly shook their heads because they understood the concept.
I am reminded of this story as I continue my reflections from “The 7 Keys to Spiritual Wellness” by Joe Paprocki. The fifth key focuses on “Recognizing and Setting Limits.” In this chapter, Paprocki writes, “Spiritual wellness is tied up with our cravings. Our cravings for food, drink and other substances and behaviors are symptoms of a deeper craving. We ingest caffeine, nicotine, alcohol or other chemicals, and gamble, shop, work too hard in order to get a temporary fix – a few moments of feeling alive. These ways of satisfying our cravings prevent us from truly feeling our feelings.”1
In a sense, we try to fill up those places around our hearts to feel whole even though we are not. Paprocki says that two insights gleaned from the wisdom of the Twelve Steps can assist in understanding how we use our temporary fixes: “The Twelve Steps cut to the chase, requiring those who seek recovery to name the ‘sin’ that has taken control of their lives. There is no room for denial. The individual must admit the problem to him or herself, to God and at least one other human being. Unless we name the reality and admit that we are not in control, we remain trapped by it, and recovery is not possible.”2
The second insight Paprocki discusses is our powerlessness: “The Twelve Steps teach us to admit powerlessness over our problem. We are not in control. We cannot make the ‘itch’ [Paprocki calls the space between our hearts and the circle an “itch”] go away by simply willing ourselves to stop scratching. Until we admit our powerlessness over whatever negative behavior we are trapped in and come face to face with it, any of our efforts at recovery will be as successful as laying cement during a rainstorm. Good luck with that. Our problem holds the key to our wellness. When we know we are powerless, we can let God in.”2
Where is the ability to make our heart whole? Stay tuned. You can find that in my next article.
1Paprocki, Joe. 7 Keys to Spiritual Wellness: Enriching Your Faith by Strengthening the Health of Your Soul. Loyola Press, 2012. Pg. 65.
2Ibid. pg. 67.
By Sister Geralyn Schmidt, SCC, Special to The Witness
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