Sometimes I need a few weeks to “chew” on a concept and spend time in prayer before I can put to words what I am trying to write about. This is one of those times.
What do you understand “wholeness” to be about? Or, better yet, what is your personal definition of “wholeness?” Before I share mine, Google states that wholeness is the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity. For me – being highly intuitive, idealistic and rooted in the reality of daily life – wholeness is about integrating the “light” of my inner life with the messiness of being a human being. This is truly a biblical ideal because Jesus told us in Matthew 5:48, “To be perfect as my heavenly Father is perfect.” Or, giving it a more visual description, uniting the brilliant yellow of God that lies within with the brown earth tones of this world. The result? Yellow ochre or muted gold.
I share this as I continue my reflections on the fifth key in Joe Paprocki’s book, 7 Keys to Spiritual Wellness. In my last article, I promised to share with you what Paprocki suggests are things we can practice for finding wholeness. The boldface items are his, the reflections are mine.
Recognize and honor limits – Newsflash: We are all broken and addicted to something. Every single one of us! Owning this allows us to set up personal boundaries that prevent us from “going off the rails.” Whatever your weaknesses are, setting personal boundaries that guard yourself from allowing them to take over is essential in the journey to wholeness or biblical perfection found in Matthew 5:48.
Pray regularly – Just as we bathe and brush our teeth daily, we must find time to pray. Prayer is food for the journey to become whole. Prayer aligns our internal compass to God, rather than to ourselves. When our compass aligns with God, we do not readily get lost. When our compass is broken, our disordered attachments run amok and limit our journey to completeness.
Be honest and contrite – Praying regularly and knowing our boundaries allow us to see our personal deviances in a new light. Honesty is the cornerstone of this reality. When you find you have gone astray in following the guise of self, Confession is essential for resetting and finding the “light” of God once again. A large part of being honest and contrite is making amends to the person we have offended. This can be tricky if the person is not ready to accept our action of atonement. Nevertheless, try it! It is possible even if you have to be “creative!”
Practice charity and self-sacrifice – Service to others, no matter how small, shifts the focus from yourself to others. Remember, you are not God! Selflessness is truly a huge part of being whole!
Get involved with the poor – Serving at a soup kitchen, food pantry or other ministry of being involved with those who are less fortunate also shifts one’s attention from self to others. You cannot be the center of the universe; others must and should be!
Get involved with a faith community – The adage, “No man is an island” comes up when I read this caption. A faith community can assist anyone from centering on self and reaching out to others. A faith community can assist you in praying regularly and being honest with your journey.
Participate in ritual worship – Worshipping God is truly an action that makes us whole. True worship sets aright what we have personally wronged, not only in our relationship with God but also with others. Remember we have been made for God.
Change your routine – Every time we pray the Act of Contrition, we promise to “avoid the near occasions of sin.” This avoidance might call us to change something within our personal lifestyle. To determine what that might be demands honesty and humility. These two virtues are essential in the spiritual life.
Forgive yourself and resist perfectionism – Jesus told us, “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” What Paprocki calls “perfectionism” is not about this. It is not the belief that you try and try and try again until you can finally declare, “My faults and failures have been completely overcome.” This state of perfectionism will only be found in heaven. Rather, this is all about accepting personal responsibility to live according to the precepts Christ gave us and, when we fail (and we will), to accept failure as a step toward how Jesus wants us to live. Humility is required to accept our personal brokenness and ask Jesus to enter into those places and heal them. The process is possible and the struggle is so worthwhile!
Practice disorder displacement – “You can displace negative behaviors by displacing them with positive behaviors. One of the most effective ways to do this is by focusing on gratitude. Often, when I feel compelled to engage in some behavior that is vapid at best and negative at worst, I make a gratitude list. I make a list of all the things I am grateful for. Once you start, it’s hard to stop. You quickly begin to realize just how blessed you are and how grateful you are for these blessings. Before you know it, gratitude has literally displaced any feelings of discontent. It’s very scientific!”2
I don’t know about you but as I go down this list, I can see myself as having somewhat “completing” some of the items listed here. It’s not about checking the box but rejoicing in the journey of knowledge and then struggling to overcome our faults. This is the place where swirls of brilliant yellow and muted earth tones converge into muted gold! This is the stuff of saints! Let us strive to follow their examples!
1Paprocki, Joe. 7 Keys to Spiritual Wellness: Enriching Your Faith by Strengthening the Health of Your Soul. Loyola Press, 2012. Pg. 69 – 75.
Ibid. pg. 75.
By Sister Geralyn Schmidt, SCC, Special to The Witness
